WTF beauty treatments

Monday, 10 December 2012

WTF beauty treatmentsBird poop facials, leech therapy, placenta cream. And you thought you heard it all from those crazy celebs. Well, has found more…

For centuries, women have been committing acts of medieval torture on themselves just to look, seem, smell or even just feel more beautiful. Here are some of the biggest OMG WTF beauty rituals you might not know about… (and if you have tried one of them, tell us all about it because we haven’t found anyone brave enough to try them yet!)

Ant body wash

A refreshing and energy-giving wash – or is it? Ants contain high levels of formic acid, which is energy-giving. In fact you’ll find that in some cultures, ants are part of a daily diet. The Natural Expired Fruits Acids help remove dead skin and oil residues, and according to the website, this body wash will awaken the senses and provide an overall feeling of balance. It’s also perfect for people with oily skin or sluggish metabolisms. See those ants marching through your kitchen? They’re not the enemy after all.

Pig placenta beauty drink

If you missed Sex Ed 101, placenta is tissue that grows inside of women when they are pregnant. It serves to nourish and protect the fetus and is pushed out after the fetus during what is called the ‘afterbirth’. It’s slimy, slippery, bloody and full of fluids, so who would think to drink such a thing? The desire for youth and beauty can be a strong one, which is why people in Japan are currently lining up to drink ground pig placenta. Like menstrual blood, placentas are full of vitamins, nutrients and minerals – everything that an egg or baby feeds on, pre-Gerber. Personally, I prefer my Centrum Complete A-to-Z.

Butter V-jays

There is a little-known practice found in Ethiopian salons. Women are given a 45-minute massage head to toe, using butter as the massaging medium. Butter is also applied everywhere, from toe to scalp. Plastic bags are put over the hands and feet, and the guest is given a large chunk of butter to spread over her lady parts. Then she is led to a room with a long row of toilets and smoke holes. The woman sits on the toilet with her legs as far apart as possible, with her hoo-ha positioned over the smoke hole, and three heavy blankets are thrown over her so that no smoke escapes. She’ll sit like that until all of the butter is melted, and she has become a giant steaming yam. The idea is to tighten up the vaginal muscles post-pregnancy – or perhaps your partner prefers butter on muffin.

Portuguese urine gargle

When Marc Antony wooed Cleopatra, when Julius Caesar made a speech, when Ben Hur rode his mighty chariot, they all participated in a sacred ritual that continues today – they gargled. While that hardly deserves a mention, bear in mind, they weren’t swishing Listerine. To improve the colour of their teeth and freshen their breath, Romans imported and swilled Portuguese urine. Apparently, the Portuguese pH was much more divine and manly than mellow Roman yellow. While obviously unpleasant, urine contains several compounds like ammonia and urea that actually kill germs and help fight the gum disease gingivitis.

Snail cream

The mucus secreted by land snails has a powerful antioxidant that protects them from an atmosphere full of oxygen radicals. It also cushions the road as they forage across the sidewalk, so naturally if it works for them, it must work for us, right? Right. Snail serum has been clinically proven to help maintain the skin, as well as improve cell function. Additionally, it helps avoid excess or abnormal scars, including acne scarring. It also counteracts sun damage, prevents premature skin ageing and wrinkles and accelerates the renewal of damaged tissues. And you thought they were only good for French appetizers and sidewalk art.

Written by Sonja Holbrook, this article originally appeared on SheKnows.

Image: Patryk Kosmider/

Other articles you may be interested in:
Who should be performing beauty procedures
Botox in your twenties

Written by

Megan Kakora has helped launch the websites of, and been the online editor for, some of South Africa’s biggest glossy magazines. She believes in less-is-more, except when it comes to her collection of nail polish colours.
Megan on Google+

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  1. AndreaM

    If I was not a scaredy cat I would try the snails for my eczema.

    5 years ago •

  1. Sue1N

    Disgusting. Thank you but no thank you. Will stick to more conventional metods :-).

    5 years ago •

  1. disastar

    I would try the snail extract but the rest just makes me cringe :/

    5 years ago •

  1. Hess

    I can honestly say not a single one sounds good

    6 years ago •

  1. TJK

    Well, the ants and snails I would possibly consider…the butter one made me laugh…but that is it! :)

    6 years ago •

  1. Trinity

    Gives me the creeps, the things people do for beauty…

    6 years ago •

  1. margsc

    it’s a strange strange world we live in!

    6 years ago •

  1. Miss Tee

    sounds gross, but could be worth a try.

    6 years ago •

  1. Kris

    Gross but interesting – but a definite no to the butter treatment thanks!

    6 years ago •

  1. RoseAngel

    Lol, the old Indian aunties swear by the smoke thing! They take the seat out if a chair and light a special mixture of herbs which then are placed on the fire or coals under the chair. After having a hot bath a woman who had a baby is place on said chair and covered by a blanket, the smoke that arises into her hoo-ha is said to cleanse the womb after the birth. This is done on a daily basis for the first forty days after birth. It’s actually not all that bad…..

    6 years ago •

  1. mashigoane

    I would try the snail cream, it doesn’t sound as gross as the others, the things we will do for beauty smh…Kim Kardashian recently did a blood facial also know as a vampire facial…crazy…

    6 years ago •

  1. Funindawo

    Love the snail cream part, o gosh I laughed when I got to that butter part. Great article

    6 years ago •

  1. Ladyconfused

    Oh wow that is gross! The snail cream doesnt seem to far off, as there are a lot snail extract products.

    6 years ago •

  1. Carlene

    I’ve always considered myself to be adventurous – but a big “no thanks” to this lot (which includes the snail mucus cream)!

    6 years ago •

  1. **Pixieminx**

    okay I doubt i’ll ever want to gargle with urine *BLUURRG* or have my “hooha” over smoke lol but I don’t think slimy snail mucus is that bad, i’d try it! ;)

    6 years ago •

  1. kunene

    Yes I have wanted to buy a snail mucus based product and I know just the one! thank you.

    6 years ago •

  1. Lauren

    I must admit, I am grossed out by the lengths that some people will go.

    6 years ago •

  1. Pseudo_kate

    Gag. Wow, the extent some people go to for good skin and it might not even work.

    6 years ago •

  1. Adele

    Gee I can’t believe this, it is like believe it or not.

    6 years ago •

  1. Carstens

    I heard about the snail one. Just wonderd if someone can tell me if it should be the ready made products, or have someone tried a gardensnail?

    6 years ago •

  1. Rochelle Kay

    Think I need to go throw up now…

    6 years ago •

  1. Botes

    Gosh!!!! crazy things I tell ya!!! Not sure if im willing to got to these extremes, but interesting read

    6 years ago •

  1. Simone

    Pharmacy approved products are also all good, lol. Interesting article however.

    6 years ago •

  1. Vermeulen

    Snail gel works. I used it on my strech marks. Believe it or not, it works.

    6 years ago •

  1. Harte-Joubert

    I know of products on shelves which make use of human enzymes extracted from amputated limbs and placentas. I’m NOT a fan!

    6 years ago •

  1. Anita

    Oh my word, dont think I’ll go for one of these.

    6 years ago •

  1. Pannack

    Absolutley no, hell no! I am not that adventurous!

    6 years ago •

  1. Cupcake

    The snail cream doesn’t sound bad. That product ‘Celltone’ contains that snail stuff.

    6 years ago •

  1. Leana

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww! Yuck gross!!!

    6 years ago •

  1. may-may 22

    huh? WTF really.. for real? …

    6 years ago •

  1. Bronwyn

    And you can get the dead skin on your feet nibbled off by fish too! My sister in law goes for that.

    6 years ago •

  1. Glamorous Glitter

    Great article! SO funny!! Tweeting this one!

    6 years ago •

  1. Azraa

    Quite crazy! Ive heard about the snail one before, the rest seem too crazy to be true

    6 years ago •

  1. GoldenShimmeringCloud

    Absolutely heard about the benefits of snail slime before, but never tried a product containing it with though. But the placenta drink? Not in a million years.. Very interesting article!

    6 years ago •

  1. DivaDesle

    Wow, all these unusual beauty treatments freak me out! Don’t think I will try it.

    6 years ago •

  1. Lady-T

    OMG, tank you, will definately share

    6 years ago •

  1. Maddy

    Lol, this is almost scary. I myself prefer Centrum A-Z as opposed to placenta, urine and ants etc

    6 years ago •

  1. CindyR

    No thank you, its amazing what people will use to look beautiful.

    6 years ago •


    wow the butter V-jays, even if they can say my V will be tighter i do not think I will do it cos its sound so scary.

    6 years ago •

  1. Mpoyif

    “Portuguese urine gargle”? Rather have yellow teeth!

    6 years ago •

  1. Nuuh

    Omg that’s strange but interesting

    6 years ago •

  1. Tasha

    Yuck! Some of this things sound a bit extreme. But I guess- when it comes to beauty – everything goes, right? :)))

    6 years ago •

  1. G

    I think I’ll stick to my regular products…….

    6 years ago •

  1. foreverGLAM

    The placenta one is totally scary. I think those women are desperate.

    6 years ago •

  1. Riekie

    Haha I’ll never use these, but interesting

    6 years ago •

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