There are alot of great products out there for oily hair which I will get to in a second.
The first problem is in the way you may be washing your hair. When our hair feels oily/ dirty, we like to "scrub" to get rid of the dirt. Oily hair is from overactive sebaceous glands and when we scrub our scalps, we are stimulating them even more! When washing your hair, never use the tips of your fingers, ONLY use your palms to get the shampoo to move around to clean your scalp.
The other problem is that if you are using "shop" products, they have alot of sulfates which can also strip the hair’s natural oils, thus causing your Sebaceous glands to work harder again. When conditioning your hair, never ever put it near your scalp or massage into your scalp. Always just put it on your ends.
With most salon professional shampoo on the market, the shampoo will say that once it starts foaming, you actually leave it in for 5 minutes so it can absorb excess sebum (oil) without irritating the sebaceous glands.
I feel the best product on the market for oily hair is REDKEN Oil Detox R260. It has tiny "micro-sponges" that absorb all the excess Sebum when the product is left on and then rinses right out the. You notiuce a difference within 2 weeks of using it. Other alternatives are MATRIX Cooling Mint Shampoo R150, Coinditioner R165 and leave in Treatment (R180), L’Oreal Pure Resource +- R185
As you say yourself, your ends are also damaged, so I would suggest a good hair cut and also the following Conditioners or Masque to use once a week
Redken Fresh curls Conditioner
Redken All Soft Masque
Matrix Fortfy Conditioner
Loreal Professionel Absolute Repair Conditioner / Masque
Happy hair washing ;)
MIRRORS hair lab