Your hair is hard due to both the texture and condition. It is dry, brittle and dehydrated. The dandruff is often caused by infrequent shampooing and results in an imbalanced scalp. My recommendation is to get a good quality Anti Dandruff shampoo like L’Oreal Professionel Serie Expert, from a salon. After shampooing, treat your hair with Dark and Lovely Ultra Cholesterol, applied to clean, towel dried hair. Do this weekly, rather than monthly. An excellent way of wearing your hair natural and creating softness, is to use the new Dark and Lovely Colour Intensity Permanent Hair Colour, available in 6 appealing shades. Your hair will feel soft and well conditioned and be a great fashion accessory without having to relax it. Remeber to shampoo and treat every week, even if you have colour on your hair.